er as he tracks his possibly adulterous wife.

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ater, on a bus, he sees someone wearing a jersey with "Kevin" on the back. Jeff follows him. Meanwhile, Jeff's brother, Pat, a tone-deaf salesman, upsets his wife by buying a Porsche they cannot afford; Pat runs into Jeff soon after and they see Pat's wife with another man. At her job, Jeff and Pat's mom receives e-mails from a secret admirer; she tries to figure out who it is. Misunderstandings, errors, and confrontations abound. A backup on the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway brings things to a head.

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e Barts but in the process makes the acquaintance of Henry Sturgess who teaches him how to fight and what is required to kill a vampire. The quid pro quo is that Abe will kill only those vampires that Henry directs him to. Abe relocates to Springfield where he gets a job as a store clerk while he studies the law and kills vampires by night. He also meets and eventually marries the pretty Mary Todd. Many years later as President of the United States, he comes to realize that vampires are fighting with the Confederate forces. As a result he mounts his own campaign to defeat them.

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